One night at the Reading Room

“Where you off to?” queried my roommate. I could sense insurmountable suspicion in his eyes. Awkward silence. I was pulverized.”Udupi” I retort, rambling lucidly. I had sftifled. He had sensed it. He yanked himself up from the bed, rushed through the corridors, and gave shouts of ‘GPL, GPL, Sloger’s going to the reading room’. I dropped my bag meekly in submission and surrendered. My arms were held, my legs spread and promptly GPLed.I was battered, clobbered and bruised. My damped spirit lifted me up, and a dogged 15 minutes later, I was in the reading room. I could atleast find 20 guys from my class. I swore under my breath. I parked myself underneath a fan rotating at less than a revolution an hour. My steadfastness all at once failed me and I submitted. A small little siesta couldn’t harm me, I thought. I had almost dozed off, but I was woken up by a man sitting right beside me, who struck up a conversation with me.
Unidentified asshole: Sup macha?
Blank me: Who are you?
Unidentified asshole: I’m God. I’m here to answer all your questions, demystify all your mysteries. So go on, ask what you please.
Confused me: Am I drunk?
Smooth-talking God: No. You’re having a hangover. I’m real. Go ahead. Test me.
Baffled me: AlrightIE. Let me test you then. Who is the biggest sloger in the world?
Composed God: Even monkeys with half a brain can answer that. Shobhit. Madman. I appeared before him last week, the same way I did today, and the first and the only question he asked me was the schematic of an FPGA. I couldn’t answer it. He ridiculed me and answered it himself.
Amused me: Ya. I know. Tell me this. Why did you choose Tronix for me?
Witty God: So you could appreciate Friday nights better.
Not amused me: Not worth it, my friend. Why doesn’t anyone sleep in class? Why am I the only one?
Flattering God: Because they don’t dream. And besides, you’re not the only one, have you seen Parampalli?
Convinced me: Yes. That’s true. Tell me this. Do Voice club guys impress you?
Smug God: You crazy? I’m asleep at 4 in the morning. I don’t have the damndest idea what they are doing up so early!
Curious Me: I hear you have a crush on one of the Tronix girls. Come out with it God.
Hapless God: That girl who sits in the first bench right?
Very Curious me: Who? Rangdal?
Embarrassed God: No, you fool. That second year girl. Unbelievably pretty. Damn, we were good together. But she likes you more. Lucky you. (Gnarl)
Flattered me: Of course she does. Tell me this. How can I anticipate surprise tests?
Knowledgeable God: When you’re least prepared. I’m a big fan of Murphy’s Laws.
Unimpressed me: You are a sadist God. You should be ashamed. By the way, do you know who wrote that anonymous newsletter?
Smug God:Muhuhahahahaha!!
Disgusted me: For the love of God! Tell me. Who’s winning next year’s CR elections?
Helpful God: Navin
Confused me: Putta?
Ambiguous God: No.
Still Confused me: Vignesh?
Unclear God: No.
Stunned me: Naveen T.B?? You gotta be kidding me.
Shocked me: Ok, Ok. One more. And please don’t mention it to anyone. But….. Am I gay?
Smiling God: Only in the closet. I’ve seen the way you look at Videsh.
Hopeless me: Damn.What will I tell my mom? Anyway, can I mention this conversation in the class blog?
Cunning God: Only if you mention the gay part. Only then.
Me: Deal
God: Deal.
He disappeared into thin air, leaving me despondent, and yet having the satisfaction of demystifying invaluable class details. I put my head back on the desk, and lost myself in deep sleep. Not so many miles to go before I sleep.


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